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Thursday, April 16, 2009
No need to argue. . . Don't turn away from me. . .
Dear journal,

I don't know who should I turn to now. Who should I cried out loud now. I'm so down.. Don't I deserve any respect from Her? Allah, I'm elder. I gave it to her all she wants. I cover up all her shits. But y she always put me into shit or give me shit? Y suddenly she become so heartless? Y? What I have do wrong to her? Today, early morning, very early... tears flowing down. Even I'm in my bus transport to work. I just can't help it. My colleague who sat besides me, she just kept quiet. Thanks for ur understanding even though, I bet, she got no idea what the hell I just went through few minutes ago.

Someone always there to back her up. Y can't 'someone' open up his or her BIG eyes and try to figure out and see, look around is everything ok. And does she deserve back ups??? Since a week ago till now, I just don't feel good. To many to think. To much to try. But she putting more shit to my brains. Everyone is emo. EMOTIONAL. Y? cause, everybody own their feelings. Don't tell me, NO ONE EVER BEEN IN EMOTIONAL before! Right now, I'm so emotional. I can't handle too many shits at one time. I can't. She really hurts me. It hurts down my soul. I got no choice. I just can't run away. Please ALLAH, give me strength to hold on... please... I'm trying to put a smile at work today. I'm going to breathe very slow... closing my eyes. . . . . . . .

Does anyone care? . . . . .


ODE TO MY FAMILY - THE CRANBERRIES

Understand the things I say,
Don't turn away from me
'Cause I spent half my life out there
You wouldn't disagree
D'you see me, d'you see
Do you like me, do you like me standing there
D'you notice, d'you know
Do you see me, do you see me
Does anyone care

Unhappiness, where's when I was young
And we didn't give a damn
'Cause we were raised
To see life as fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she hold me,
Did she hold me when I was out there
My father, my father, he liked me
Oh he liked me, does anyone care

Understand what I've become,
It wasn't my design
And people everywhere think
Something better than I am,
But I miss you.
I miss'Cause I liked it, I liked it
When I was out there
D'you know this, d'you know
You did not find me, you did not find
Does anyone care

Unhappiness, was when I was young
And we didn't give a damn
'Cause we were raised
To see life as fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she hold me,
Did she hold me when I was out there
My father, my father, he liked me
Oh he liked me, does anyone care , does anyone care?

~ { 7:13 AM }
LennY